[English Transcript] The Wise Father – Nouman Ali Khan


ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلهِ

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلهِ خَالِقِ الْوُجُودِ مِنَ الْعَدَمِ

وَ جَاعِلِ النُّورِ مِنَ الظُّلَمِ

وَمُخْرِجِ الصَّبْرِ مِنَ الْأَلَمِ

فَمُلْقِيْ التَّوْبَةِ عَلَى النَّدَمِ

فَنَشْكُرُهُ عَلَى الْمَصَائِبِ كَمَا نَشْكُرُهُ عَلَى النِّعَمِ

وَنُصَلِّي عَلَى رَسُولِهِ الْأَكْرَمِ

ذِيْ الشَّرَفِ الْأَشَمِّ وَ النُّورِ الْأتَمِّ

وَالكِتَابِ الْمُحْكَمِ

وَكَمَالِ النَّبِيِّنَ وَالْخَاتَمِ

سَيِّدِ وَلَدِ آدَمَ

الَّذِيْ بَشَّرَ بِهِ عِيْسَى بْنُ مَرْيَمِ

وَدَعَا لِبِعْثَتِهِ إِبْرَاهِيْمُ عَلَيهِ السَّلَامُ

حِينَ كَانَ يَرْفَعُ قَوَاعِدَ بَيْتِ اللهِ الْمُحَرَّمِ

وَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

وَعَلَى أَتْبَاعِهِ خَيْرِ الْأُمَمِ

الَّذِيْنَ بَارَكَ اللهُ بِهِمْ كَافَّةَ النَّاسِ

العَرَبَ مِنْهُمْ وَ الْعَجَمِ

ٱلْحَمْدُلِلهِ

الَّذِي لَمْ يَتَّخِذْ وَلَدًا وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ شَرِيْكٌ فِي الْمُلْكِ

وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ وَلِيٌّ مِن الذُّلِّ

وَكَـبِّـرْهُ تَكْبِـيْـرًا

وَالحَمْدُ لِلهِ الَّذِي أَنزَلَ عَلَىٰ عَبْدِهِ الْكِتَابَ

وَلَمْ يَجْعَل لَّهُ عِوَجًا

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ الَّذِي نَـحْمَدُهُ

وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ

وَنُؤْمِنُ بِهِ وَنَتَوَكَّلُ عَلَيْهِ

وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِأَنْفُسِنَا

وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا

مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ

وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ

وَنَشْهَدُ أَن لاَّ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ الله

وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيْكَ لَهُ

وَنَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُـحَمَّداً عَبْدُ اللهِ وَرَسُولُه

أَرْسَلَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَى بِالْهُدَى وَدِيْنِ الْحَـقِّ

لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّيْنِ كُلِّهِ

وَكَفَى بِاللهِ شَهِيْدًا

فَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَسْـلِيْمًا كَثِيْرًا كَثِيْرًا

أَمَّا بَعْدُ:

فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللهِ

وَخَيرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيهِ وَسَلَّمَ

وَ إِنَّ شَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا

وَإِنَّ كُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ

وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ

وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

قَالَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ فِي كِتَابِهِ الْكَرِيْمِ

بَعْدَ أَنْ أَقُوْلَ أَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

وَلَقَدْ ءَاتَيْنَا لُقْمَٰنَ ٱلْحِكْمَةَ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِلَّهِ

وَمَن يَشْكُرْ فَإِنَّمَا يَشْكُرُ لِنَفْسِهِ

وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَنِىٌّ حَمِيدٌ(QS. Luqman 31: 12)

وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَٰنُ لِٱبْنِهِۦ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ

يَٰبُنَىَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّ

إِنَّ ٱلشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌ(QS. Luqman 31: 13)

رَبّ اشْرَحْ لِيْ صَدْرِيْ وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي

وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِسَانِيْ يَفْقَهُ قَوْلِي

اَللّٰهُمَّ ثَبِّتْنَا عِنْدَ الْمَوتِ بِلَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا الله

اَللّٰهُمَّ ٱجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الَّذِيْنَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوْا الصَّالِحَاتِ

وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

آمين يَا رَبَّ العَالَمِينَ

Today I’m going to continue speaking with you about

the passage that I’ve chosen to dedicate to the next series of khutbah

that is the passage of Surah Luqman

that’s the 31st surah of the Qur’an and that’s ayah number 12 onwards

which is a passage about a father that has been singled out in the Qur’an in this way.

He is not a prophet by most accounts

and I spoke to you last time about how Allah had given him wisdom

and the climax of that wisdom was to be grateful and to feel compelled to be grateful

But then Allah describes how that wisdom that he was gifted with was passed on.

And so this passage is going to be about him giving advice to his son.

Before I get into the ayah themselves

probably only going to be doing the talking about the 13th ayah today

what I do want you to know is this passage goes on to ayah number 19

So from 13 to 19 is the advice that the father gives to the son

But in the middle of that, right after this first one, ayah number 13,

in 14 and 15, Allah stops.

So it’s actually he’s (Luqman) talking to his son in ayah number 13

then he’s talking to him again in number 16, 17, 18 and 19.

but 14 and 15 is not part of that conversation.

14 and 15 Allah stops and says something Himself. Like, Allah makes a comment Himself.

as if you know when a teacher is teaching,

and sometimes a teacher is playing a video in class, right?

So they play a video in class and they get through one scene

and they hit pause and then they say something

and they explain something and they hit play again right

so there’s the scene you were taken to

then the teachers comments and then continue back again where we left off

this kind of thing happens in the Qur’an, Allah will take us to a scene

where a father is giving advice to his son right

and then He’s going to hit pause and He’s going to talk to us directly for a couple of ayah

as if before you go on you need to hear this

you need.. or what you just understood so far, I need to help you internalize it by these comments

So these comments couldn’t wait until the end. You get it?

And then let’s continue with the with the story.

So that’s actually how this passage is very beautifully structured.

But anyway let’s talk today about ayah number 13.

وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَٰنُ لِٱبْنِهِ (QS. Luqman 31: 13)

When Luqman said to his son,

وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ as he was giving him council

يَٰبُنَىَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ

“My son, or my little son.. يَٰبُنَىَّ

fu’ail (فُعَيْلٌ) is the ism isim tasghir (اِسْمُ التَّصْغِيْرِ)

So, “My beloved son, or my little son, my young son..”

لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ. “Don’t associate anybody with Allah.”

إِنَّ ٱلشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌ

“No doubt,

the association meaning that kind of associating with Allah truly is a great wrongdoing”

And.. you know, injustice.

In this ayah the first thing to note

is that Allah did not simply give us some commentary

about Luqman sharing wisdom with people around him.

or his entire family, or his wife, or his parents, et cetera

There’s different people you can talk to and share wisdom

and we don’t even have to know, sometimes somebody can say something wise

So Luqman said, “Don’t do shirk(شِرْكٌ)”. Right?

But the ayah isn’t about just Luqman sharing wisdom

the ayah is about Luqman sharing wisdom with his son

So Allah goes out of His way to highlight a conversation

that’s happening between a father and a son

and this is representative of a parent and a child

but of course in the most direct sense, it’s talking to fathers

by extension of course it’s talking to mothers too, it’s talking to daughters too

but in the most immediate sense, you’re getting an image of a father speaking with his child

and when he’s speaking with his child,the language is really interesting

Allah doesn’t just say, “Luqman said to his son..”

وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَٰنُ لِٱبْنِهِ. When Luqman said to his son

but there’s a further qualifier, وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ this is where things get really interesting

and in fact he was the one that was counseling him

now what is that joomlah haaliyyah (جُمْلَةٌ حَالِيَّةٌ),It’s called joomlah haaliyyah in grammar,

what does that do to the meaning?

The first thing it does, is it tells you that Luqman wanted to talk to his son

about something about Allah’s religion,

something about not doing shirk (شِرْكٌ),something about the faith

something about Islam, something I say all the time

He wanted to say that to him, but he didn’t just say it to him.

he found a time where he could tell that his son is willing to listen to some advice.

He’s tuned in.

This is a good opportunity where I can tell from the facial expressions of my son

or the moment that we’re having it at this time or the quietness that we have

or the lack of distractions that we have, that this is a good time to bring this up.

In other words, it’s very mindful of him to …

and this is part of wisdom from the previous ayah,

it’s mindful of him to know, that young men and kids in general,

but young boys are easily distracted

so they’re distracted playing video games, or they’re distracted watching something,

or, you know, talking to their friends, or they’re distracted with just eating snacks

or their minds wander quickly.

Getting the attention of a child is not an easy task.

Right? Teachers actually have to go through great lengths to get the attention of a child. Right?

and perform all kinds of theatrics to keep the attention of a child

But for a parent,

most of our relationships with our children end up boiling down to..

“What are you doing?””Did you finish your homework?”

“Okay, it’s time for dinner!””Okay, clean up your room!”

“Okay, come on we gotta leave! We’re getting late.”

“Where are your shoes?”,”Why are your socks over here?”

That’s our conversations with our kids

That’s our comment.. and then, when we do try to have a real conversation,

“So how was your day today?” We asked these kinds of open-ended questions,

“How was your day today?”. And they say, “Well, it’s good..”

and then you can have that same exact conversation a thousand times, and the answer’s gonna be

“Yeah it’s good.”

“Who are you talking to?” “My friends..”

“Which friends?” They’ll say like, one word answers. Right?

It’s not a real conversation.

It’s just, ‘Can we get this over with so I can do what I’m doing’ kind of thing.

or when when parents come into a conversation, it’s like, “Oh my god, inspection time..”

like when a drill sergeant walks into a military camp all the soldiers are chilling relaxing

and the drill sergeant walks in the door like.. this sit up

for a lot of parents it’s.. that’s what the relationship turns into,

“Oh my god, dad’s coming, mom’s coming. Oh I hear the footsteps.. Put that away”

The point is real conversation becomes very difficult because you’re guarded. Right?

And real conversation becomes difficult, because you’re having..

really at the end of the day, administrative conversations about food

or homework or clean up or tasks.

They’re not real conversations.

the closest thing to a real conversation is ‘what shoes do I want to buy.’

They come up to you and they want to talk to you about something, and they really want to open up

“Is I feel like going to this restaurant, or I want to order this ice cream

or I want to get that food or I want to get…”

You know, “I haven’t, we haven’t gone out in a while, let’s go here, let’s go there.”

So it’s some activity that they’d want to do, or something you want to take them to

or you need them to get something done.

These are the kinds of conversations that happen, and those are.. they all, of course, have their place

you’re living under the same roof.

but you know what they also create.. naturally create a distance.

They start creating a distance between ourselves and our children

because we’re actually not having real conversations

real conversations about what they feel

real conversations that actually make them think

think about things other than what they’re distracted with all the time

food, and games, and school and trips, are all distractions.

those are all they’re always going to be there those things are always going to be there

But.. “What do you feel about your brother? You guys fight a lot, so..”

what do you.. I mean, what’s the best thing you like about your brother?

“What’s the worst thing you don’t like about your brother?”

“And.. what’s the best memory you have of him?”

like, probing questions like that, that get them to open up

and they start sharing what they truly feel,

those are precious moments.

Now the word ya’izhuhuu (يَعِظُهُۥ) is important in the ayah, because the word wa’z (وَعْظٌ) in Arabic,

which is actually one of the words, it’s mashdar (مَصْدَرٌ),

It’s infinitive form, is used to describe the Qur’an itself

قَدْ جَآءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ (QS. Yunus 10: 57)

a counsel that touches your heart, has come to you from your Master

So, the idea you can translate this as he was counseling him, he was advising him.

but actually the implication here would be

‘Luqman set his son at a moment

where he can feel that his words are getting through to his heart’.

So he found an opportunity, he found a moment,

and he capitalized on a momentwhere he was touching his son’s heart.

Those are not the ‘did you finish your food?’ conversations.

those are different kinds of conversations.

Those conversations might have to be, and it might even be implied in the text with

إِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَٰنُ لِٱبْنِهِ

that he said to his son as if nobody else is around.

so maybe it’s a good idea that… you know, if you have more than one kid for example

that two of you take a walk and just have a conversation

Because sometimes children get lost in the crowd too.

Like, they don’t have individual attention from parents

because obviously, we’re pulled in many different directions.

But being able to find the time to have an individual conversation with a child

is a very powerful thing.

Those of you that are adults, and I’d like to see this actually in your comments..

those of you that are adults and have memories of good memories of your parents

from the time when you were children,

I would imagine you remember a time when you had some exclusive time with your father.

sometime he took you on a walk, sometime he took you fishing

sometime he took you on a trip, sometime he made you ride with him on a horse,

sometime he talked to you about something or something you fixed a car together with it.

those times where you are exclusive with your child,

and you did something together,

They become imprinted memories.

They become personality forming memories,

they can… those things stick in their head.

Years that… You don’t remember all the conversations when you were 11 years old.

You don’t remember that.

you don’t remember things that happened when you were seven. You barely remember anything.

You remember glimpses. But part of those glimpses you will notice

are moments you spent with your father, with your mother that were special.

They weren’t just we ate together because you did that every day.

They weren’t just they bought me a toy because that happened every eid.

It wasn’t just they got me clothes. It wasn’t those things,

buying stuff, doing the run-of-the-mill things.

It was some conversation, some moment.

Some teaching moment. And those moments are actually part of the wisdom of parenting.

To find those moments with our children.

We may not realize the impact those conversations have on someone.

In fact those things you remember about your father or your mother,

those conversations, if you go back and tell them, “Mom do you remember when you said this to me?”

they’ll say, “No. What? I said that? Really? I used to be really smart.”

But that was such a transformational thing for you. Right?

The point I’m trying to make is they won’t remember that.

They won’t remember how significant it is.

but you should know… you never know which moment with your child…

I should, I need to know, I’ll never know which moment with my child is going to be truly significant

and I’m talking from the positive and it’s also be…should be mentioned from the negative

I don’t know which conversation I have with my child where I was reckless,

where I was hurtful, might be truly damaging.

and I need to… and if that has happened, I need to make sure I have some kind of

you know, way to erase that or overcome that with a positive experience

these experiences are what kids are going to remember.

That’s what’s going to build them.

So in the in that moment when he has his child’s attention

and in that moment when that child is actually open to listening

you can tell that they’re opening up in a way that’s different.

They’re actually answering in full sentences.

They want to tell you what’s going on instead of you probing it out of them like a root canal.

It’s actually them that want to engage in the conversation.

when that’s happening in that moment the father drops

يَٰبُنَىَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ

“My beloved son, my little son…”

and that’s… It’s so beautiful that he didn’t just give him religious advice

he actually expressed his love for his child first.

So now he sees that my child is in a place where his heart is softened

and I can see that.. We’re the best readers of our children’s emotions.

We can tell from their face if something is wrong

We can tell from their face when they’re feeling something

They’re feeling vulnerable.

They’re feeling like they let their guard down a little bit because… you know…

especially with teenagers for example, they put a hard guard up

and when that guard goes down a little bit, you can tell…

You’re smart enough to know.

And in that moment the first thing you want to do is make them feel safe, because…

you know, with kids when they put their guard down, they feel scared

and they have to put their guard back up to feel safe again.

but before they put their guard up

you can let them know that you’re their guard.

and you can let them know that by…

and I can let them know that by first expressing not what we want them to hear from us

or what advice we want to give them, or what we want them to change.

or what they’re doing wrong or what they could be doing more

We can put all of that aside.

The first thing they need to hear from us is that we love them

and we love them the same as when we loved them when they were little kids

So even this… though this boy may be older,

the words in the Qur’an are yaa bunayya (يَٰبُنَىَّ)’My little son’. Almost like ‘my baby’.

almost like my baby. You’re a young man already but you I love you just like when you were my baby

and you’re hugging this child and you’re putting your arm around this child

and you’re praying for this child and you’re kissing their forehead

you’re doing all of that as if they’re three years old, but they’re actually 14 now

they’re 16 now, they’re 12 now.

And you know what? In those moments…

I’m 40 something years old, when my dad kisses my forehead, I feel like I’m eight years old.

Right, for those moments you start melting too.

That has an effect.

So before the communication the words are exchanged, there is the right time and the right occasion

وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ it also means وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ

It suggests that whatever he’s about to say, there’s a larger conversation happening.

Maybe he’s giving him advice about how to make money, how to run the business,

maybe he’s giving advice about school,

maybe he’s giving advice about some friends trouble that he’s having,

He’s giving some counsel to him, some larger council.

and in the middle of that council he wants to bring Allah up.

but he will first, he will make his child feel loved and therefore safe…

Just like a small child feels safe around the parent.

When they hear a loud sound they run toward the parent.

They want to cling, or they want to sleep in the same bed because there was thunder outside.

So yaa bunayya (يَٰبُنَىَّ) is that giving of safety

giving of that emotional safety, physical safety may already be there.

It’s that emotional safety.

And once yaa bunayya (يَٰبُنَىَّ) is said…

“My little son, my beloved son, my boy…”

يَٰبُنَىَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ

“Don’t…” I mean, I’ll translate casually first.

“Don’t do wrong by Allah.”

Just.. Instead of sayingdon’t disrespect your father,

be a good son, I need you to listen to me, when I tell you something, just do it!

like those are moments of those counsels too. Right?

But he says, “Son, listen.. I may be here one day, I may not..”

“I can tell you what to do today,”

“I can tell you to pray, I can tell you to not go on the wrong websites,”

“or places on the internet,”

“I can tell you to avoid this or that or the other,”

“I can tell you to guard your eyes,”

“I can tell you to stay away from kids at school that are doing drugs,”

“I can tell you not to use these bad words \Nthat I overheard you use.”

“I can tell you all of those things, but you know what?”

“One day I’ll be gone.”

“and even if one day I’m not gone, most of the day I’m gone, I’m working,”

“you’re by yourself. But you know who’s always there?”

“Allah is always there, and when you think that you’re in charge,”

“and you’re free and you’re no longer a slave, you don’t have a higher authority,”

“then you’ve put yourself next to Allah.”

“Because Allah has the highest authority.Don’t do that.”

“I don’t even mean to… I love you so much,I need you to know…”

because you know what kids start thinking?

Kids start thinking that parents, all they want to do is impose their authority on them.

And this father has such profound wisdom,

He says, “Son, my authority, let’s put that aside.”

“Right now I just want you to recognize Allah’s authority.”

“I just want you to know Allah is always there.”

“and no one will love you like Allah does.”

“No one will give you advice like Allah does.”

“No one means well for you like Allah does.”

“No one will protect you like Allah does.”

“No one will take care of you like Allah does.”

“No one is watching you like Allah does.”

“No one is recording you like Allah does.”

“No one will correct you like Allah does.”

“No one can punish you like Allah does.”

“I need you to know, you can’t put anything where…”

“those ideas, being answerable to someone, loving someone,”

“finding guidance in someone, be…”

“wanting to be the way someone wants you to be”

Those things only belong to Allah. Don’t give them to somebody else.

It’s not just don’t do shirk (شِرْكٌ) with Allah, meaning don’t worship idols.

or don’t believe in a trinity, or don’t believe in this.. it’s not just theology

This statement is about putting our faith in Allah above our faith in everything else.

That’s what his son is being told.

Because for a young man, they’re not in danger of worshiping idols

they are however in danger of ٱتَّخَذَ إِلَـٰهَهُۥ هَوَىٰهُ(QS. Al Furqan 25: 43, QS. Al Jatsiyah 45: 43)

their emotions, their desires, their hormones, their wants, their distractions

Those things can become a god

They become the only thing you ever worry about.

If I have a son who’s every time I talk to him, he’s talking about marvel and the avengers

or he’s talking about you know anime or he’s talking about video games

and that’s all he ever talks about

or this character or that character, or this sport or that sport

or this match or that match and this, you know, MMA fighting or the NBA finals,

or which shoes are coming out, or what, you know, what car..

that’s all they’re ever talking about, those things are turning into a god.

because what ancient people used to do isthey used to sit in front of idols all day and meditate.

Think all about these deities. And now if your thoughts..

if in here you’re invaded constantly with these things, these material things,

these superficial things,

then you’re meditating over these things that’s what you’re thinking about all the time

they’ve invaded your heart and your mind

And there is a place in our hearts and our minds that belongs to Allah

and you can entertain yourself, you can watch sports, you can play video games

I do all those things too.

You can do those things, but they belong in a lower..\N way lower shelf by the shoe area in your heart.

And then there’s the higher shelves that only belong to Allah

and they can’t… they can’t take that place.

And this father says to his son,”Don’t do shirk (شِرْكٌ) with Allah.”

My son, I love you. Come here, I want you to be safe.

Just don’t forget Allah’s authority over you.

Don’t forget why you’re really here.

You didn’t come on this earth to play games.

You didn’t come on this earth to watch movies.

You didn’t come on this earth to look good.

This is not why you were put on this earth.

You were put on this earth to recognize who your master is.

and to serve that purpose and while you’re serving that purpose,

you will enjoy many things in this life.

But you will enjoy them as a slave. Don’t forget that you’re a slave.

That is لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ.

And if you forget that and you enjoy everything else,

إِنَّ ٱلشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌ

“No doubt about it,

shirk (شِرْكٌ), it’s a terribly misplaced crime, it’s a terrible injustice.”

zhulm (ظُلْمٌ) actually in arabic, they call it wadh’u syai’in fi ghairi mahallihi (وَضْعُ شَيْءٍ فِيْ غَيْرِ مَحَلِّهِ)

it’s putting something where it doesn’t belong.

Zhulm, Urdu speakers, Hindi speakers, Bangladeshi speakers

Zhulm has made it its way into many languages.

Zhulm means oppression in many languages

Okay, like zhalim or they say zalim.This is zhalim (ظَالِمٌ). in Arabic.

Can mean an oppressor.

But actually zhulm (ظُلْمٌ) in it’s original meaning is

is something belongs somewhere, you put it in the wrong place.

like if you put shoes.. took shoes, put them in a bookshelf

that’s zhulm (ظُلْمٌ). You understand?

Or if you put milk inside of the car instead of oil. That’s zhulm (ظُلْمٌ).

It’s oppression to the poor car, but it’s also misplacing something.

The idea of misplacing something is zhulm (ظُلْمٌ).

He says shirk (شِرْكٌ) is a terrible misplacement.

it’s a heinous, it’s a great misplacement.

what does it mean that it’s a misplacement?

There are some places in your heart that only Allah belongs

and you put other things there, you misplace those things. You understand?

You misplace them. And once you misplace those things, everything in your life gets misplaced.

Every relationship gets misplaced, every experience gets misplaced.

Your judgment gets misplaced. Everything gets twisted around because you know what?

You no longer have Allah in the right place in your heart,

that means you don’t have light and when a person doesn’t have light

then they’re walking in the dark and they’re stumbling on things

and they don’t know which way they’re going.

You’ll lose purpose in your life if you do shirk (شِرْكٌ).

You’ll misplace yourself.

The ultimate wrong and the ultimate misplacement is this shirk (شِرْكٌ) with Allah.

And the father is telling his son this.. As if to say..

I may not have this opportunity to give this advice to you again,

Allah knows how long life is, I don’t know how long my life is.

But, you know, you’re gonna have to make your own choices.

And every time you’re confronted with a choice,

you’re gonna have to ask yourself, where is Allah in that choice.

Is Allah the first consideration? Above all else?

When you make a choice, when I make a choice?

Or is Allah.. What Allah would want you hear it, but you’re like..

“No, but that’s priority number two or three, not right now. Not over the weekend, Ya Allah..”

“On Friday. Yours is Friday. But it’s Saturday now.”

Right? Or, “It’s Friday night now, so let me let me do my thing.”

So we put Allah where He doesn’t belong.

And we put other things where they don’t belong.

And that’s the first advice he gives to his son.

What a powerful advice.

That some serious advice,

in one ayah it’s actually teaching that we have to prepare our next generation

to stand up on their own.

To think for themselves.

He didn’t tell him, you know.. First, pray. Stay away from haram.

Right? Dress properly.

Which is all those advices we give to our kids, isn’t it?

Don’t use bad words, be careful who you make friends with,

don’t eat that kind of food, stay away from this,

don’t go out late at night.

There’s a million advices we give our kids.

But it’s as if he gave this one advice

that makes all those other advices almost irrelevant,

or all those other advices now make sense to your son, because this is there

Because when Allah is in the right place, in the heart of a believer,

then all the other counsel that comes from Allah,

the council of guarding yourself guarding your chastity,

guarding your income, guarding your body,

you know, guarding your heart, guarding your character,

all of that makes sense, because now Allah is in the right place.

Right? And when Allah is not.. “Why do I have to pray? Okay, fine.. Alright.”

Because that first advice has not been given in the right time, in the right moment,

in the right way.

And that… It’s profound.

A parent has to do that.

And that’s one of the greatest wisdoms he was given.

and this is some isolated man, Luqman, who Allah gave wisdom to, to be grateful.

That’s what we learned last time, this is what I’m going to conclude with.

Allah gave him wisdom that he should be grateful.

And the first thing we learn about him,

we could have learned anything about him

Allah could have taught us anything about him.

What He chose to teach us about him is

now that he has this wisdom to be grateful, the first thing he does is he shows that gratitude

by taking any opportunity he can to share something beautiful with his son.

Right? You know what that means?

That us trying to find a way to give our kids good guidance lovingly

is actually us being grateful to Allah.

That’s the height of wisdom.

That’s wisdom. And when we try to give advice to our children with harshness,

or not taking into account the time and place,

or not taking into account their temperament,

or not taking into account that they’re not feeling safe,

that they don’t.. they still have their emotional walls up,

we haven’t broken them with yaa bunayya (يَٰبُنَىَّ).

we don’t take those things into..

we’re missing wisdom or missing out on wisdom.

May Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ make us wise in the way we deal with our children.

And may Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ overlook our shortcomings and what we haven’t been able to give to our children

May Allah soften the hearts of our young, you know, sons and daughters

so that they become better slaves of Allah than we ever could be

And that they live more meaningful lives, more purposeful lives than we we could ever live

that they become assadaqah jariyyah (اَلصَّدَقَةُ الْجَرِيَّةُ)

for us and our parents and their parents

and that they become a means of spreading more good in the world than we could ever spread

بَارَكَ اللهُ لِيْ وَلَكُمْ فِي الْقُرْآنِ الْحكِيْمِ

وَنَفَعَنِيْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ باِلآيَاتِ وَالذِّكْرِ الْحَكِيْمِ

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ وَكَفَى

وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى عِبَادِهِ الَّذِيْنَ اصْطَفَى

خُصُوْصًا عَلَى أَفْضَلِهِمْ وَ خَاتِمِ النَّبِيِّيْنَ

مُحَمَّدٍ الْأَمِيْنِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِيْنَ

قَالَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ فِي كِتَابِهِ الْكَرِيْمِ

بَعْدَ أَنْ أَقُوْلَ أَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

إِنَّ اللهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا

اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلىَ مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلىَ آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَعَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ

فِي العَالَمِيْنَ إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ

اَللَّهُمَّ باَرِكْ عَلىَ مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلىَ آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

كَماَ باَرَكْتَ عَلىَ إِبْرَاهِيْمَ وَعَلىَ آلِ إِبْرَاهِيْمَ

فِي العَالَمِيْنَ إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ

عِبَادَ اللهِ, رَحِمَكُمُ اللهُ, اتَّقُوْا اللهَ

إنَّ اللهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ

وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ

وَيَنْهٰى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاۤءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ

وَلَذِكْرُاللهِ أَكْبَرُ

وَاللهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُوْنَ

أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ

إِنَّ الصَّلاةَ كَانَتْ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ كِتَاباً مَوْقُوتاً

credit to Tim Subtitle NAK Indonesia

One thought on “[English Transcript] The Wise Father – Nouman Ali Khan

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