[English Transcript] Let Them Get Married 1 – Nouman Ali Khan


Study the whole Quran with Nouman Ali Khan.

WWW.BAYYINAH.TV

(الحمد لله)
(الحمد لله ، خالق الوجود من العدم)
(و جاعل النور من الظلم)
(و مخرج الصبر من الالم)
(و ملقي التوبة على الندم)
(فنشكره على المصائب كما نشكره على النعم)
(و نصلي على رسوله الاكرم)
(ذي الشرف الاشم ، و النور الاتم)
(و الكتاب المحكم)
(و كمال النبيين و الخاتم ، سيد ولد آدم)
(الذي بشر به عيسى بن مريم)
(و دعا لبعثته ابراهيم عليه السلام)
(حين كان يرفع قواعد بيت الله المحرم)
(فصل الله عليه وسلم و على اتباعه ، خير الامم)
(الذين بارك الله بهم كافة الناس العرب منهم و العجم)
(الحمد لله)
(الذي لم يتخذ ولدا ولم يكن له شريك في الملك)
(ولم يكن له ولي من الذل وكبره تكبيرا)
(الحمد لله الذي أنزل على عبده الكتاب)
(ولم يجعل له عوجا)
(والحمد لله)
(الذي نحمده و نستعينه و نستغفره)
(و نؤمن به و نتوكل عليه)
(و نعوذ به من شرور انفسنا و من سيئات اعمالنا)
(من يهد الله فلا مضل له, ومن يضلل فلا هادي له)
(و نشهد ان لا اله الا الله وحده لاشريك له)
(و نشهد ان محمدا عبده ورسوله)
(أرسله الله تعالى بالهدى ودين الحق)
(ليظهره على الدين كله)
(وكفى بالله شهيدا)
(فصل الله عليه و سلم تسليما كثيرا كثيرا)
(عم بعد)
(فإن أصدق الحديث كتاب الله)
(وخير الهدي هدي محمد ﷺ)
(وإن شر الأمور محدثاتها)
(فإن كل محدثة بدعة)
(وكل بدعة ضلالة)
(وكل ضلالة في النار)
(قال الله عز و جل في القرآن الكريم)
(بعد أن أقول)
(أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم)
(وَأَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْأَيَـٰمَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَآئِكُمْ ۚ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)
(إِن يَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَآءَ يُغْنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌۭ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)
(وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(وَٱلَّذِينَ يَبْتَغُونَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ مِمَّا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(فَكَاتِبُوهُمْ إِنْ عَلِمْتُمْ فِيهِمْ خَيْرًۭا ۖ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(وَءَاتُوهُم مِّن مَّالِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّذِىٓ ءَاتَىٰكُمْ ۚ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(وَلَا تُكْرِهُوا۟ فَتَيَـٰتِكُمْ عَلَى ٱلْبِغَآءِ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(إِنْ أَرَدْنَ تَحَصُّنًۭا لِّتَبْتَغُوا۟ عَرَضَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۚ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(وَمَن يُكْرِههُّنَّ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ إِكْرَٰهِهِنَّ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)
(وَلَقَدْ أَنزَلْنَآ إِلَيْكُمْ ءَايَـٰتٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَـٰتٍۢ) (QS. An-Nur: 34)
(وَمَثَلًۭا مِّنَ ٱلَّذِينَ خَلَوْا۟ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ) (QS. An-Nur: 34)
(وَمَوْعِظَةًۭ لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ) (QS. An-Nur: 34)
(رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِى صَدْرِي) (QS. Taha: 25)
(وَيَسِّرْ لِى اَمْرِي) (QS. Taha: 26)
(وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِّسَانِى) (QS. Taha: 27)
(يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِى) (QS. Taha: 28)
(اللَّهُمَّ ثَبِّتْنا وَاجْعَلْنا عند الموت بِ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ اللهُ)
(اللَّهُمَّ جْعَلْنامِنَ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِ)
(وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ)
(آمين يا رب العالمين)

In today’s khutbah, what I hope to discuss with you… Insha Allah wa ta’ala is one, maybe two ayat of Surat An-Nur, the 24th surah of the Quran. I have referred to this surah several times. There are teachings in this surah that are fundamental for a community to survive and not lose Allah’s guidance.

So there are places in the Quran, Allah gives us instructions as an ummah. Other places in the Quran, Allah gives us guidance as an individual or as a family. And in some places in the Quran, He gives us guidance as a community, people, families that support each other, and live together, and how they need to help each other. Not fall off the path that Allah wants us to stay on.

And so, parts of those instructions is what I want to talk about with you today. And before I do, I’m going to share some observations, and then I’m going to try to extrapolate some of these lessons from this ayat, and I want you to see for yourself, where you and I fall.

Different Cultures

You know, obviously we all belong to different cultures, we come from different countries, many of us come from parts of Asia, parts of Africa, parts of Europe, different parts of the world. And every place has its own traditions, its own cultures.

Your family has your own way of doing things. Sometimes cultures are so different, that people, the way they do things in one village is very different from the way people do things in the next village, right?

And when people identify with a particular family, or a tribe, or culture, then those values, the norms, from everything. From the way we eat, from the way we dress, you know, from the way we speak, all of those, ceremonies, celebrations. All of those things are very deeply impacted by the places we come from, and the cultures that we belong to, right?

It’s of course different when we come to a place like the United States, or when people move from different parts of the world to Europe, or Australia, or some parts of the West, where they keep parts of their culture.

But they’re now part of a new culture, and their children are being exposed to a different world. So, inside the home is briyani culture, but outside, you know, is hamburger culture. So, it’s completely different worlds, and they have to figure out how to live in both, you know? And sometimes when people come, and they move to a different country, they want to remember how things used to be back home, right?

So, even, you find for example in the United States, there are many places in the United States, where the masajid… the khutbah is done in, not English. It’s actually done, sometimes in Urdu, or Bangla, or Arabic, or some other language. And even though every building neighbouring, that masjid is English speaking, and the entire neighborhood is English speaking. It is America.

But… there are some people there that want to remember how things used to be back home. So, we need to keep things inside here, the way they used to be. I know masajid in New York that have been around for 50 years, and they give khutbah in the local language. Nobody understands except the elders. Even their own grandchildren don’t understand. Because they’ve moved on, and they’ve become more Americanised than their grandparents, right? It doesn’t matter. We’re going to keep things as they used to be.

Culture is a Very Powerful Force

The first thing I want to share with you is that culture is a very powerful force. It is not an evil force, but it is a very powerful force. You know, human beings have habits that form over time. We are talking about habits that have formed inside of a family, over generations. That’s not something small, and breaking away from that is not something easy. Allah did not give us Islam, to destroy culture, or to get rid of culture.

For some people, they have this wrong conception in their mind that Islam is against culture. That’s absolutely incorrect. Allah (عز و جل) did not come to eliminate different cultures. In fact, what Allah gave us in His teachings, and what He gave us in the legacy of His Prophet (ﷺ) is a way to bring Allah’s guidance to every culture.

You can still dress how you like, eat how you like. You can still celebrate your festivities, how you like. But here’s the haram that you can remove from it. Here’s the oppression that you can remove from it. Maybe some parts of our culture are oppressive. Maybe some parts of it are unfair. Maybe it wrongs people. Our religion came to remove parts of that culture that was wronging people and kept everything else.

Just to give you a small example of, even the time of the Prophet (ﷺ), part of their culture was… Having a daughter was embarrassing. If a girl was born in your household, it was like, “Wow, you’re not man enough to have a son?”

“You have a daughter?”

And when a person got news that a daughter was born in their household, they would get depressed.

(ظَلَّ وَجْهُهُۥ مُسْوَدًّۭا وَهُوَ كَظِيمٌۭ) (QS An-Nahl: 58)

You know, Allah describes, it’s like, “His face has a dark cloud overshadowing him, and he’s swallowing his frustration.”

And he’s avoiding eye contact with people. And that was an ignorant culture they used to have. Our Prophet (ﷺ) gave us an instruction, gave us this good news.

“Any of you that have three daughters, or three sisters, and are good to them, then Allah will guarantee them Jannah.”

And then somebody asked how about two? How about one? And he kept bringing the number down. Allah will give you Jannah. Meaning, having a daughter, having a sister would be a ticket to heaven.

He flipped that culture, He changed that culture. Even though that didn’t work for many Muslims, even today; I remember when I had my second daughter. I was so happy, I went to the masjid with a bunch of doughnuts. And I gave; it’s a baby; and somebody asked, some fellow, I’m not going to name the country, but pretty much all Muslim countries are the same now, right?

He asked me, “What is it?”

“Boy, right?”

And I said, “No, it’s a girl.”

He said, “Oh… Insha Allah, next time.”

[Laughter]: You know, right?

Because it’s not good news to have a daughter.

“What? What religion is this?”

This is exactly what our religion came to fix, but it has been 1400 years, and that idea, that sons are better, is before Islam. It’s from before Islam. But even though Islam came, and Islam is a powerful force.

For some people, they could not let go of parts of their culture that came from before Islam. And even though they became Muslim, some parts of that culture that doesn’t go with Islam remained. It stayed there, and it’s still there, and it’s carrying on.

Some Culture are Completely Opposite of Our Religion

So, you have a religion, and then you have parts of a culture that are completely opposite of our religion. And we have to decide which of these is a more powerful force. Which has more authority? Sometimes, our culture has nothing to go, there’s nothing wrong between our culture and Islam.

The way I’m dressed right now purposely, is part of… it is part of the culture I belong to – from different parts of the culture I belong to. – There’s nothing extra Islamic about that or un-Islamic about that. Our Prophet (ﷺ) on special occasions for example, used to wear a turban. But you know what? Abu Jahal also wore a turban on special occasions.

You know what? Abu Lahab also wore a turban on special occasions. Wearing of a turban or dressing like the Arabs was not Islam. That already existed even before the Prophet was even born, (ﷺ). But there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s completely fine. So, the Prophet (ﷺ) keeps parts of the culture where there’s nothing wrong with them. But there are other parts of the culture, there’s something wrong with it, that has to be eliminated.

Human Standards

Now, with that in mind, that’s not the subject of my khutbah. I’ve taken too long to bring you that introduction, maybe this subject will take a few khutbahs to get across. But in any case, I wanted to just take one part of this culture. Around the world, as I travel, or people write to me on social media, they email me, they talk to me.

One common problem that many people bring up, many people bring up is: I can’t get married – men and women – I can’t get married. And then you ask a simple question:

“Why can’t you get married?”

“Well, my parents say I’m too young.”

Or, if it’s a girl, “I can’t get married because culturally I’m too old.”

“I’m past the expiration date.”

Or, “I did find someone I wanted to marry, but she’s from another ethnicity.”

Or, “He’s from a different ethnicity, my parents won’t accept it.”

Or, “They are not from the same economic class.”

It could be that they are from the same country, they speak the same language, but unfortunately, they belong to the village next door, 10 miles over.

“Nah… not those people.”

“We can’t have our family be contaminated by those people.”

And so, it needs to be from within our own proximity, or, my parents decided a long time ago who I’m going to marry, even though I don’t want to marry them, and now they’re telling me that I don’t have a choice.

These are just some… or I’m divorced and now nobody wants me, and you know, because divorce is like you know, it’s worse than the corona-virus. You don’t want to go near people who are divorced because you might catch that virus. Don’t even invite them to Eid gatherings because you know, they’re contaminated people, you know?

And so, we’ve created these values, these standards. Or sometimes a young woman or a young man comes and tells you, “I’m ready to get married, a family’s willing to marry, but my parents say, but you have an older brother, or you have an older sister, or an older sibling, and they’re not married yet, and until they’re married, you need to sit tight, relax.”

Now, these guidelines, these rules we have in our families, in our culture, none of these have anything to do with Islam. What does Allah say about allowing people to get married when they want to get married and who they want to get married to.

The Marriage of Prophet Musa (عليه السلام)

Allah gave us guidelines of who you can marry. And as parents we have opinions. I want us to start off very quickly with… the only marriage that is mentioned in the Quran. At least one, I want to highlight to you in the Quran.

Musa (عليه السلام) accidentally killed someone. You people know this. He ran away from Egypt. The entire military, and the cops were looking for him. And if they found him, they would have killed him on the spot. He ran off into the desert, he found a couple of young women, he helped them.

He was dehydrated, almost dead, but he helped them anyway. And when he helped them, he sat back down under the tree. And these women used to work in a non-Muslim society. All the men around them were perverts. And they noticed this man helped us, and he didn’t stare at us. He wasn’t indecent towards us.

So, when they went back to their dad, they told him we met a really good man. He said, “Call him over.”

So, one of them came back and called him over. And he told his entire story to the father. He was now in Madyan, Musa (عليه السلام) is from the children of Israel, okay?

So, he’s an Israelite. And he was in Madyan which was Arab land. He’s in Arab land, so he’s in – this is an Israelite talking to the Arab. – And he told the Arab father, “Yeah, I used to live in Egypt, I killed someone, and I’m a fugitive from the law, and I’m homeless right now, and this is my story.”

“So, here’s the list – I killed somebody, I’m homeless, and I have no food to eat.”

And the dad listens to him and says, “I think I should marry one of my daughters to you.”

“How about you marry one of my girls?”

“You can live here for ten years.”

“Eight years, ten if you want.”

And he said, “Hold on, I don’t think that my mom would be okay with that.”

“Let me check with her first, let me see if I can get in touch with her on the…”

No! They just… “Sure, sign me up, good deal.”

(هَـٰذَا بَيْنِى وَبَيْنَك)

“This is between you and me.”

It was completely fine. Allah taught us something. First of all, was it a marriage inside the ethnicity? No.

Was it a marriage where the son was ready, financially capable, with an impressive resume before he got married? No.

As a matter of fact, the resume didn’t even include, “By the way, I am a Prophet of Allah.”

No. Because that happened on a mountain many years later. He wasn’t even a Prophet yet. So, the only thing on his resume is that, “I’m honest, and I’m a good person, and I don’t have a place to go.”

That’s all he had on his resume. And Allah describes how he got married.

That’s Musa (عليه السلام).

And you know, culturally, by the way… Culturally, it is really bad if you live with your in-laws, isn’t it? If a man lives with his mother-in-law or his father-in-law: what kind of a man are you? And ten years Musa (عليه السلام) lived with his father-in-law. Ten years. Anybody want to challenge his manhood?

“You’re not man enough to live on your own?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

You know?

Let Them Get Married

But we don’t think like that. That’s not even my subject. Let’s start the subject, the ayah I wanted to discuss. Listen to this carefully. These are Allah’s words. And Allah’s words are above my culture and yours. They are above my family’s expectations and yours. These are Allah’s words, Who knows better for us, than we know for ourselves.

He says to us as a community, (وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)

“Get the unmarried among you married.”

“Get the single people in your community married.”

This means, allow them to get married. Meaning, don’t put barriers in their place. Allah made something halal, you and I don’t get to make it haram. You and I don’t get to say, “No, no, not yet.”

If Allah has no problem with it, then you and I don’t get to have a problem with it. You don’t get to say, “No, no, no! Finish your Master’s degree and then your Ph.D.”

“And then by then become deeply depressed because you’re alone and lonely.”

“And then we’ll see because by that time, you’ll have some psychological issues.”

“And then we’ll get you married to somebody, so you can give them psychological issues.”

“Let’s do that.”

“No, no, no!”

“How about you stay in the university, where you have to constantly guard your eyes from looking at haram.”

“And there are the opposite gender’s constantly coming at you all the time, and you’re just a human being.”

“And you’re going to be thrown in that temptation.”

“But you know what?”

“You’re a good boy.”

“So you stay in that same environment for six, seven, eight, sepuluh years.”

“And then when you’ve saved enough, and you’ve bought a house, and you’ve bought us one also, because you’re also our bank.”

“Then when we’re done withdrawing enough from this bank, then you can go and get married, because we don’t want some girl coming into your life, and taking all the money we were hoping for.”

“We put a lot of money into you. We need to get a refund first. We can’t just let you get married.”

What is that? What’s the matter? Can’t control yourself? And then you’re completely fine.

Some family are completely fine if their sons and daughters are doing whatever because they – “That’s not a problem, that’s okay they’re just young.”

“But marriage? No.”

“Haram is okay.”

“Halal no good.”

I have even heard parents say, “I have no problem if you want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but this marriage business you better stop.”

Really?

Let me translate that for you. “I’m perfectly okay if you disobey Allah.”

“But doing the halal thing?”

“Our culture is more important than that.”

How dare we say the word of Allah is the highest when we can’t even allow any slave of Allah, that when something is halal for them, that includes our children. We don’t own our children. They are an amanah given to us from Allah. They are an amanah given to us by Allah.

And when they are asking for the right option – and that’s not if they’re children – I’m not telling you if your 13 year old said, “I heard a khutbah from ustadh Nouman, and I think I’m ready.”

No, I’m not talking about that.

(مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ) (Sahih al-Bukhari 5066)

“Those of you that are capable, if you’re making your own income, and if you’re independent now, if you’re at a certain point of maturity, you’re ready.”

And that’s not decided by your parents, because sometimes your parents… you could be 40 years old and they say you’re not ready.

“You’re not ready.”

Or, “You can’t like that one.”

“We want you to like that one.”

You don’t decide that. You don’t decide that for someone. If they have made a decision, and they want to marry somebody, then, if it’s within the halal, then we shouldn’t put barriers in its place.

And so, sometimes it’s ethnicity, sometimes it’s their financial status.

“No, you’re a doctor, you can only marry a doctor,” or, “This one’s too old, this one’s too young.” or, “Your older siblings,” or, “What about you need to get to a certain place financially.”

Let Them Married Even Though They Are Slave

Listen to the rest of this ayah. This is remarkable. This was in Madinah, right? And Madinah wasn’t a rich place. So, when we think about marriage nowadays, we think about booking a hall, catering, inviting people over from different parts of the continent, because if they don’t come and dance at the wedding, then how is it even halal? Right?

So, then we have to do all of this thousands of dollars of expenses, – exorbitant amounts of unnecessary expenses, – and it has to be a big deal because everybody has to, of course… if you’re not putting it on display for the world, then it didn’t happen? If you didn’t make a scene out of it, did it even occur?

So, all of these cultural expectations that put the young man and woman in financial debt, and their families in financial debt before they even start their life. But that’s our standard. We have to do that because they did it, and they did it, and they did it, and they did it.

And you know, Madinah was a bankrupt place. It was a very poor place. Allah says, the Ansar, first of all, the Muhajirun was homeless, right? They left Makkah, they don’t have a home. And the ones who gave them a home, the Ansar, what does Allah say about them?

(وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۚ) (QS. Al-Hashr: 9)

“They gave others preference over themselves, even though they themselves were dying of hunger.”

Meaning the sponsors are dying of hunger, not the refugees. The sponsors don’t have enough food. That was Madinah. And then Allah says, listen to this.

(وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ ۚ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)

“Get your unmarried, whether they’re young or old, divorced.”

You know, they want to get married, give them the space to get married – allow them, enable them, encourage them, help them to get married.

And then, “Take the good amongst your slaves, men and women.”

Meaning slaves. You know, slavery existed at that time and these servants were the lowest economic ebb of society. They don’t have a home to their name. They don’t have a property to their name. They have nothing. And Allah says even they should not go unmarried. Even they should not go unmarried.

Meaning, Quran is teaching us, your financial situation, though it is important, if you create a culture where unless you are financially in a certain place, only then you can get married. When you create that, you are closing the door to halal, and opening the door to haram wide open. Wide open.

And you know, you have to remember, for shaytan, when he got to our parents in Jannah, every tree was halal and only one tree was haram. And he was able to, enough whisper to them, to go to that one tree that was haram, right?

And what are Muslims doing? Muslims are not going for that one tree that’s haram; Muslims are creating for themselves. Every tree, that’s haram. Every tree that haram, we’re opening up, and the trees that are halal, we are chopping them down. For our own children. For our own kids.

This is not okay for us to do. This is a form of oppression. This is creating chaos in society. Even if slaves were told in the Quran, allow them to get married. And then Allah says, okay, then people would ask, how can slaves afford it? How are they even going to afford to get married?

Allah says, this is Allah’s words, not mine.

(إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)

“If they are bankrupt, Allah will give them from His own favour.”

Meaning this is more important than even money. Getting them married is even more important than money. And then He says,

(وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ) (QS. An-Nur: 32)

“Allah is best.”

“Allah knows.”

He knows what He’s talking about more than you and me. So, when He says this is the right course of action, then He knows. He knows finances better than you and me. He knows psychology better than you and me. He knows sociology better than you and me. He knows the short term and the long term better than you and me when He gave this recommendation.

(وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا)
(حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ ۗ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)

In the next ayah, “And those who are not able to find somebody to marry should try to hold themselves back as much as possible until Allah gives them the ability to do so.”

If they possibly can’t find, – the problem is not, that’s not what I’m saying to you. – If you can’t find, be patient. Everybody knows that already. But the reality of it is, so many of our young men and women, and older men and women that are ready to get married, that can get married, that have a halal option to get married, their doors are being closed. And unfortunately, they’re being closed by Muslims, not non-Muslims. And that is really a big crisis of violating what Allah says in these ayat. This is what Allah says in these ayat.

Conclusion

By the way, this ayah, right before it, as I conclude now, right before it is the ayah of women should guard their eyes and cover themselves, and men should guard their eyes. Right before it.

So, first Allah says guard yourselves, and, then even Allah says you can’t guard yourself forever. Every desire, Allah put inside the human being. He gave them a halal road. So, He says guard yourselves as much as possible, but really, your final security is going to be what? Marriage itself.

Let people get married. Let young people get married. Let the older ones get married. Let women get remarried. It’s okay. This was the culture of the sahabah.

Madinah you would think, and I talked about the financial realities of Madinah – it wasn’t just the financial reality, when you study the life in Madinah before the Prophet (ﷺ) moved there, and even after he moved there, carefully, you’ll find Madinah had prostitution. Madinah had open zina. Madinah was a crazy place. Quran came to clean up a pretty wild town.

It was the Vegas of the time. It was not some normal town. I mean you study the historical context of the city of Madinah and its culture, you’ll be shocked. And Quran came to clean that up too.

And the sahabah didn’t know better and this is why the sahabah were given these instructions. And if you can’t find someone, Allah even talked about those who can’t afford to get married. What did He say to the community?

He says, (وَآتُوهُم مِّن مَّالِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي آتَاكُمْ ۚ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)

“Give them from the money Allah has given you – from Allah’s money that He gave you.”

He didn’t say give them from your money. He says give them from Allah’s money that He gave you so they can get married. This is Allah’s call. Allah says His own wealth that He gave you, is best used, helping people get married. That’s what it’s best used for.

(ءَاتُوهُم مِّن مَّالِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّذِىٓ ءَاتَىٰكُم)
(وَلَا تُكْرِهُوا فَتَيَاتِكُمْ عَلَى الْبِغَاءِ) (QS. An-Nur: 33)

“And don’t force your young women into prostitution.”

That’s what He says then. And (بِغَاء) means rebellion also. And even though there was a prostitution problem back then, there’s another problem now. We are forcing our young men and women into sin. You and I know what social media is like. You and I know what Snapchat and Instagram – we know what that’s like. You know what temptation’s like. It’s bombarding our youth in every single direction.

And if there’s one thing we want, to live this life and to walk out of it and meet with Allah successful, then we have to preserve the light Allah put inside of us. And the best way to destroy that light is to let go of the haya of a human being. And it’s being attacked every single day.

Anybody who has a mobile device is being attacked – that’s the reality. If you have a mobile device and it’s connected to the internet, well, shaytan’s constantly got a hold on you. You can have a Quran app on there, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. You can have Islamic YouTube videos, it doesn’t matter. Shaytan’s in there too. It’s an extension of ourselves and it’s made temptation easier to follow. That’s the reality of it.

And in that environment when you close the door to the halal, or you make it difficult, then the haram is only one or two taps of a finger away, isn’t it? That’s a harsh reality, and so what? We say people should be stronger.

If Allah wanted to say people should be stronger, they should wait. He would have said that – He knows who He created. He gave these instructions. Not you and me. We don’t have to consider ourselves stronger or consider ourselves more righteous than Allah made us.

(فَلَا تُزَكُّوا أَنفُسَكُمْ ۖ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ اتَّقَىٰ) (QS. An-Najm: 32)

“Don’t declare yourselves righteous, don’t declare yourself so pure.”

He knows better who has taqwa or not. He knows our weaknesses. He spoke to us. He gave us these guidelines knowing our weaknesses. Knowing our weaknesses. That’s the key to understanding these ayat, is to first of all acknowledge that we are not above them, that Allah’s word is above our own personal pride, it’s above our family, it’s above our culture, it’s above our preferences.

First and foremost we don’t want to allow anybody to fall into sin. In another khutbah, insha Allah I will talk about maturity – let’s dig further into this hadith of the Prophet (ﷺ), when he says those of you that are capable, because I don’t want these words to be misused by.

“Well, you know, there’s a… watch this video and now let me get married.”

Well, are you capable? Because the Prophet said whoever among you is capable.

(فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ)

“Then they should get married.”

So, what is that ba-a, that term that the Prophet (ﷺ) used and how does the Quran refer to that term? What are those qualities that we have to have? Maybe that conversation will happen. Insha Allah wa ta’ala next week.

(بَارَكَ الله لِيْ وَلَكُمْ فِي الْقُرْآنِ الْحَكِيْمِ)
(وَنَفَعَنِيْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ بِالْآيَاتِ وَالذِّكْرِ الْحَكِيْمِ)

May Allah (عز و جل) protect us and our children, and the community from any form of fitnah, and allow us to follow the path of halal, and close the doors to the haram.

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